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trinitylast

Normal people still scare me!
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I know it's a horrible thing to just put into a subject like that, but I don't know how else I could possibly say...I have no idea what to do.

My father was a local icon here in Southern California, a celebrity in the area, as well as in Chicago...his hundreds of musician friends are going to be throwing a benefit to, in the words of any musician, "Blow out Tom!" - a huge blow out to say goodbye.

One of his best friends posted something beautiful, along with a picture - Click Here For The Post.

He's everywhere in this house - I don't know which way to look. The entire place was laid out for his comfort, even before he was sick, because he was...well, he was the loudest, and the easiest to piss off.

He was a self-proclaimed asshole and that Dennis Leary song was one of his favorites...but I loved him deeply, and I don't honestly have a clue what I'm going to do now.

He was out gigging about three months ago, before he started getting sick - his last performance was in April, the 14th - his 58th birthday.

The photos of Tom Stein are starting to flood in on Facebook - if you have an account and are logged in, you can see them in the Gallery.

I just redid my sub, but honestly, I don't know that any art right now will come out any good. I love you all and I'm sorry for my absence...but I've been dealing with his illness. And now I'm dealing with his death.

On a last note, when Greg Vail and Diana D'Itri were trying to drum up donations for us to help offset the hospital bills, she posted a video of my father playing in 1990, at a defunct, but iconic place called The Cafe Lido. He couldn't solo for shit - but he always made a valiant effort.

DA won't let me embed, so here's a link:

Tom Stein Cafe Lido

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I'm back from the hospital, and aside from getting the rant-y post off my front page, I'm pretty much just going to sleep and relax a bit before I go back tomorrow morning.

Happy birthday to :iconnyxgoldstone:! I am SO SORRY this happened over your birthday weekend, though I think we all kind of called it. Everyone send her birthday wishes and lots of love, because that's kind of her father in the hospital, too, and we're all very worried!

However, remember, she's turning 25 V2. Hear that? 25, v2. (also known as 28...shhhhhh)

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Cancer

6 min read


Warning: serious rant ahead, full of words that your grandmother does NOT appreciate.

____________________

My father was diagnosed yesterday morning with stage four cancer. It's in his lymph nodes, and absolutely covering his liver.

What's INFURIATING ME about this is that he's been in and out of hospitals since NOVEMBER. First, they said pancreatitus. Then they said that was GONE, and now he had a bleeding ulcer.

In the last six weeks, he's spent less than five days at a time home. The bleeding ulcer perforated a major artery and he almost bled out.

THREE hospitals now have kicked him out because they said he was demanding too much pain medication, that there was no reason for him to need it, and they all but called him a drug addict, and they DID all throw him out.

Now, he has a history of drug use, so they had their reasons. However, these people not ONCE thought "hmmm...he's FUCKING YELLOW! Maybe we should look at that liver of his..."

Last week we got a new GI assigned to us through MSI and after he ran some tests, and backpedaled (while apologizing for also, yes, calling my father a drug addict) he said that the jaundice was because of blocked bile ducts and he was going to get them cleaned out.

They biopsied the masses, which NO ONE ELSE had bothered to do.

And yes. Under their FUCKING NOSES, the 'drug addict" had been dealing with CANCER racing through his system like GODDAMNED WILDFIRE.

It's stage four, it's innoperable - and apparently it's TOO LATE for either chemo or radiation. It's COVERING his liver COMPLETELY. That is why he's yellow. Because his LIVER is A MASS OF CANCER. And it's spreading through his body through his lymph nodes.

My father started throwing up at about ten PM, friday night, the same day that the cancer was finally discovered. He lost his food, then the bile/blood combination started coming up and didn't stop. He spent a full 24 hours doing so before the fucking doctors did what my mother had been asking them to do all day, and finally ended the vomiting. However, therefore, his vocal chords are now shot, his throat is stripped bare, and he's incapable of talking anyway, because of the tube down his throat.

This cancer started in NOVEMBER. They had PLENTY of time to catch it, we've been at that hospital more than we've been HOME.

And they didn't see a damn thing until it was too late. And it is...it's too late for chemo, for radiation, or for the homeopathic cure - we have an ND who has CURED CANCER...and it's. Too. LATE. Nothing will kick in fast enough. Nothing will do any good now.

These people have killed my father...and I am so furious I cannot speak. Because if I'm NOT furious, I think I'll break into tiny little pieces.

Now, I admit - I'm posting this at four thirty in the morning, having just spent a full 48 hours at the hospital. My mind is not clear and he'd probably be pissed if he knew I was posting it anyway.

But to be honest, I needed to vent and no one's up for me to do it at. And it's not like he's going to be at a computer to yell at me anytime soon. If he IS, I will be so thrilled it won't MATTER how angry he is at me.

He won't be. They waited too long, they fucked around too much - from ignoring obvious symptoms to avoiding doing full surgery...he almost bled out, he's a neon yellow, he's writhing in constant pain. The doctors are all backpedaling NOW, sure.

Let them backpedal. Let them save his life. Because if they don't, I'm going to bury my pain the old-fashioned way - I'm going to sue their motherfucking legs off.

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So, there's a ton of new features that have rendered all that extra coding in one's journal completely obsolete. And yes, I know I'm SERIOUSLY late to this party, but dude...DAMN.

OK, so I'm now playing with the features, etc. And I come across a clubs gadget. And I realize, "Huh, they added clubs, like all official-like! COOL!" and so I go through my clubs from an old journal, to rejoin 'em in the new style, etc.

I have therefore learned that all my clubs, but THREE, are gone. Like, they never converted over, and they haven't posted in almost as long as I have, if not longer.

SO!!! I need new clubs. Anyone who knows my art know of a few good ones I can join? I'd be very appreciative if you did!

ALSO!!!!

Yeah, I posted a new stamp. DA's being a bitch about the file formats, so they're just going to have to stay in scraps, despite the fact that I could now add 'em to a collection in my gallery, but whatever.

I'm a trekkie. Here, have a trekkie stamp:

Live Long And Die by trinitylast

NOTE!

I've changed my avatar, and let me explain why:

I'm kind of tired of the flashing light on my screen. I'm having optical issues, and the least I can do is cut down on the problem for my OWN stuff. Therefore, you're getting a 'stamped' version of the avatar I use EVERYWHERE ELSE on the 'net these days.

Those of you who think the style looks familiar, long ago and far away, I made a similar avatar as a contest prize for MistressRhia:

:iconmistressrhia:

See? :p Same deal, only mine's static, and that makes me happy. Have a nice night y'all!

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I'm back!

4 min read


Look, subscription and all!!

Obviously, I still have to spend...uh...hours/days/weeks putting back all the features I had (stamps, etc) but, lookie! My journal's back!

Crappy art is being made as we speak, people! :p Look for it to be uploaded this weekend!

-does a dance- Life is good, life is good, I has DA again, life is good!!

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My father died yesterday by trinitylast, journal

And downtime is nigh by trinitylast, journal

Cancer by trinitylast, journal

A slight discussion of DA by trinitylast, journal

I'm back! by trinitylast, journal